Friday, April 18, 2008

Our Paths Split

We began separately
Wandering on our own
Navigating our way

He brought us together
By chance as it were
We opened our hearts
Shared our dreams
With each other

For the long road ahead
I finally had a companion
To laugh with
To cry with
To share with
To learn with
To obsess with
Over plans and strategies and symptoms

Then yesterday
Our paths split
She left me
She's moving on
While I'm still left behind

This month marks our one-year anniversary of officially TTC-ing. We didn't tell anyone at first, certain we'd be sharing good news soon. As the months wore on, we realized that perhaps good news was farther away than we had thought. Through this painful time, I had no one but my mom and husband to share the journey with, as my friends either already had children or weren't married. And as much as I love my family, sharing with them wasn't quite the same as sharing with a friend who really understood.

Through the will of God, I met one of my closest friends in September 07, and somehow, He allowed me to open up to her, and she opened up to me as well. We shared our stories, our challenges, and our hopes. Finally, we weren't alone anymore. We journeyed together, until yesterday, when I learned that she is pregnant.

I'm incredibly happy for her, with all my heart. Yet I can't help but feel alone once more.

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