Thursday, October 2, 2008

Scared

Hello blogging friends. I'm still alive. Just exhausted. And sick. And overwhelmed.

So many thoughts have been going through my mind that they've all ended up jumbled up together, in an un-bloggable state. Too mixed up and messy to sort through and make coherent.

Today things are pretty straightforward and clear though. I'm scared.

I've been having lower back pain for the last few weeks, brought on by sleeping inclined to try to reduce the pain of acid reflux and awful nausea upon waking up. I had been applying a hot water bag to my back, mentioned it in passing at a gathering to my only IRL friend who knows I'm pregnant, who looked at me with big eyes and mouthed, "NO." This was on Monday night.

So no heat therapy on Monday or Tuesday, was out for 12+ hours on Tuesday, first time did something like that after knowing I'm pregnant, huge mistake. In crippling pain on Wednesday, google what to do for back pain, resort to heating pad again. Go out for about 3 hours last night, thinking all is well. Return home, joined by the return of the severe pain.

This morning the pain was back in its severe form, this time accompanied by occasional sharp pains on both sides of my lower abdomen. Passed it off to gas/bloating/constipation due to my poor eating habits of late. During my usual morning blog perusal, somehow stumble upon an article that lists three signs of miscarriage: bleeding (which I have had none of), uterine cramps, lower back pain.

Well, as it was, after my friend said her doctor said no heat for pain whatsoever, I had already been panicking about how I must have hurt my babies, but after today, I was sure. I'm trying to be positive. But I'm scared now and don't know what to do. I called the OB's office (I haven't been there yet, first appointment is next Monday), but no one answered. The fertility clinic closes early, so there was no point calling them.

The back pain is literally crippling...as in without heat, I can hardly move. I do have a previous history of back issues, so it's not really a surprise, but it is odd that it hasn't gone away with a change in sleeping position and heat therapy for about 3 weeks.

I'm scared. I know I have to place my trust in God, and I do, but I'm still scared and can't stop thinking about what if my babies aren't ok??

30 comments:

Amanda said...

found your blog off another link -- try not to worry too much - I know easier said than done, but I had horrible back pains with my daughter starting at 6 weeks and I was bleeding! They continued throughout my whole pregnancy with her -- doctor attributed it to a nerve that was being pressed on. Keep your head up! Praying for you and your babies! :)

Amy said...

My thoughts are with you, try to keep positive (easy to say from here) and call DR.s in the morning and insist on being seen!!!!!

Mrs. Spit said...

SAHW,

time to pack yourself up and bring a book and to the ER. Could be any one of a number of things. It's highly unlikely that you have had pain for 3 weeks, and are miscarrying. If that were to have happened, it would have done so before now.

Could well be something like a kidney infection. If the doc can't get you in, go to the ER.

tragicoptimist said...

Oh honey. Please don't worry about the heating pad causing problems. Especially when it's on your back, it's not a problem. You don't want to raise your whole body temperature, but heating pads don't do that.

Definitely get yourself in to a doctor, just to rule out things like an infection that Mrs. Spit mentioned, but also to see if they can get you some relief, or at least ease your fears about using a heating pad.

I'm thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. Let us know how you're doing once you're up to it.

InfertileMadWoman said...

Oh hunny, don't worry, I am sure that if you have had back issues before then that is what it is now.... you have 2 babies in there spreading you open in the hips and back, so I would be willing to be that this is pain you would have had with a singleton, only later on. Get into the docs in the morning, but please try to relax a little.

Big Hugs!!!!!
Rebel

I Believe in Miracles said...

That sounds so scary. Ok --- saying a prayer for you. Go to the dr... and then let us know what they say. **HUGS**

☆ Loren ☆ said...

just stopping by to let you know I am praying for you and the babies!! Be strong!

Just Me. said...

Oh sweetie. I wish I could take the pain away. It sounds all too scary indeed. I know I was so terribly worried when I had sudden pains and I knew it wasn't gas!

If it really really concerns you, see if you can go to the ER.

Just said a prayer for you. Let us know hw you're going.

*hugs*

Andrea said...

I will be praying for you! Get in to the doctor ASAP. When I had my m/c as soon as I told the nurse what was going on she got me in for an appt that afternoon. I have heard that the cramps that usually accompany m/c are just like period cramps and that was the case with me. So maybe it is just your muscles and ligaments stretching and moving around. I've heard that starts happening early in pregnancy which is why it's good to start going to a chiropractor then if you can.

shawna said...

I am praying that it is nothing. I had so much discomfort in the beginning, and I have had kids before. I can't imagine the adjustment that your body must be going through carrying 2 for the first time.

sara said...

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this worry. The heating pad didn't cause any damage, and I hope that pain starts to ease up soon. I'll be thinking of you ((hugs))

Deb said...

I agree with some of the others. Try to relax a little, but do get to the doctor in the morning if possible. If not, then the ER. IF for no other reason then to allay your fears.

kirke said...

Sending prayers and postive thoughts your way. I would be scared/nervous too...I think everyone is right and the best thing is to get to a doctor as soon as possible. Then you will have the peace of mind of having an expert opinion.

Jules said...

I totally understand your worry but I agree with the other people who have left comments - the heating pad is nothing to worry about. Heat is a bad thing when your whole body is affected by it; not just one area.

Hopefully you can get in to see a doctor just to give you some reassurance that things are ok. Your body goes through so many changes when you're pregnant and with you having two little ones in there, I can only imagine how much more intense things are.

Hang in there - you've got lots of people hoping & praying with you :)

Jill said...

I don't have any advice for you, but I'll be thinking of you!

Brandi Tejeda said...

I understand your worries. Its so hard NOT to think that. After my first miscarriage, all I thought about with my 3rd pregnancy was..OMG that pain. OMG this pain. It was so hard not to think like that.

That being said, both of my normal pregnancies gave me a lot of back pain. There were days I couldnt walk without tearing up.

Try not to stress and try to pray. And try to remember how many of us are praying for you! That is powerful!!!

~Jess said...

*hugs* sweetie: I'm praying for you and your little ones.

Alex and Jill said...

Oh sweetie...I think you need to go to the ER. Severe back pain could be a lot of things...including a terrible UTI.

I'll be praying that your babies are safe and sound. Go to the ER, k!??

Keep us updated!

((HUGS))

Amanda said...

My doctor specifically told me to use a heating pad for back pain! And to take a tylenol. You should also be able to google some stretches that could possibly help (all very safe).

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stretching/SM00043/RETURNTOLINK=1&RETURNTOOBJID=DA0576C0-D1A7-4CEC-89966330AC25C727?&slide=7
That's a knee-to-chest stretch. You do that, then alternate to the other knee, then do both at the same time. I wish I could find the hip stretch that my bosses showed me (Physical Therapists) to help with my low back pain.

You're in my thoughts and prayers!

alicia said...

oh hun!! I would go to a clinic then, just any Dr who can help put your mind at ease. I have heard heating pads aren't bad in pregnancy though, so try not to worry too much about that. But if you are scared, go get seen!!

thinking of you! hugs

Just Me. said...

How you doing?

Checking to see if you're ok.

((((hugs))))

Mya said...

Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you. And for what it's worth, my doctor approved a heating pad for back pain.

Leslie Laine said...

Hoping things are better for you by the time you read this - I'm so sorry that your back pain is so debilitating - I'm hoping that the doctor was able to offer you some reassurance.

Thanks so much for your positive, encouraging comments on my blog recently - I really needed the support, and you are much appreciated. Know that you really made a difference!

theycallmebobby said...

I'm with the others in thinking the heating bad is not going to cause any harm on your BACK. It's your body temp that you don't want to heat up - that's why they say no hot tubs or hot baths when preggers. I hope you go to the doctor, even if it isn't your OBGYN just so you don't worry yourself sick over this. Back pain is one of the most "ruin your life" type of pains because everything you do in life requires your back. There has to be something they can do, even if it is just to give you some peace and to know your babies are ok. It won't make the pain go away but I'm sure it would make it more bearable. Thinking of you!

Amy said...

Just checking in, thinking of you and hoping all is well. You are in my thoughts!

Echloe said...

I'm so sorry you have been in pain. I hope that it clears up soon.

Sarah said...

Been a while since you wrote this. Let us all know how you and the babies are doing. We're all worried.

Hugs!!

Just Me. said...

Hey there, been checking on you everyday to see if you're ok.

Email me if you wanna talk: infertilewhore@yahoo.com.au

(((((hugs)))))

Kristin said...

Lots of prayers continuing to come your way. Please let us know how you are...we care a lot.

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