Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I'm Still Bleeding, and Thank God

I never thought I'd be so glad that my period hasn't ended yet.

The universal recurring theme of IF is the waiting game. Waiting for the BFP that was supposed to happen naturally after you first start trying. Waiting out your six months or one year before you can go to the doctor. Waiting for an appointment at the fertility clinic. Waiting for tests. Waiting for test results. Waiting for CD1 to begin afresh. Waiting for estimated O day to start peeing on sticks (OPKs). Waiting out the 2WW to start peeing on more sticks. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

At any point in your cycle, you're waiting for something or the other. And I know that it doesn't end even after the long sought after BFP. Then you're waiting to make it past the "safety gates" when the chance of miscarriage goes down. The wait doesn't end until the baby comes home...

Currently, I'm at a very early stage in the waiting game, and I'm getting impatient. It feels like so much time has gone by, but so very little has happened, because we've had to wait for so long at each step of the way. Our family doctor wouldn't refer us to the fertility clinic until we had been TTC a full year, even though I knew we shouldn't have had to wait so long, because I had been temping and charting and checking CM, and I know we weren't missing our "good days," as we affectionately like to call them - we definitely had good timing. After we finally got our referral, it was waiting for Day 3, then Day 24 (which happened in reverse order for me) for blood tests, and then Day 5 for the baseline ultrasound. And now, we're waiting for everyone's favorite, the HSG.

After googling HSG to learn more about it, I was totally freaked out. Worse than giving birth to twins vaginally??? Now that I've been trying to schedule the HSG for 3 months, I am actually looking forward to it. I'm not looking forward to the pain, but I'm looking forward to just getting it done and over with and moving on! I'm so anxious to have that follow-up appointment with the doctor so we can set a game plan and just get started, but the good ole HSG has to be done before any plan can be made.

So that's why I'm glad that I'm still bleeding today. My HSG was actually scheduled for today, but AF showed a day later than I thought it would, and so I had to reschedule it AGAIN for next Friday. Yesterday, when I stopped bleeding, I was so mad I could have cried - I just rescheduled for nothing! Today, I'm bleeding again, and for the first time, I'm glad I am, because at least I'm not waiting for nothing.

12 comments:

Cibele said...

Over here from NaComLeavMo. I so understand what you say about waiting, waiting and waiting... I've been there and I how how hard it is. The HSG is not as bad as they say. I hope it bring good news!

Mrs. Spit said...

NoCoLeaveMo.

Ok. I have given birth to one baby, and I've had the HSG. The birth was way more painful (done without drugs). The HSG is about 90seconds of real discomfort. I won't lie, it was quite painful. It felt like that feeling you get when they scrape your cervix during a pap. Just longer, and, well more painful.

I took 600mg of Ibuprofen and an ativan. I went to my GP and explained, and he gave the prescription for the ibuprofen, and 1 ativan.

It was still unpleasant, but honestly, after the ativan, it was unpleasant, but I didn't care.

I went shopping afterwards, so it didn't hurt then.

Praying for you. The waiting part of the game is terribly hard.

Mya said...

The perpetual waiting is in some ways the hardest part of IF/ttc. My HSG wasn't to bad -- uncomfortable, but not really painful. Best of luck to you.

MoxieMamaKC said...

Hang in there girl! Just be patient!

katedaphne said...

Thanks for your thoughts and understanding on my blog. I appreciate it a lot.

The waiting game is a very hard part of IVF. Though I have been through years of fertility treatments, I still remember that early waiting, anticipation mixed with fear. I hope your journey proves not-too-long (it is too late for "short"!).

Oh -- and the HSG isn't that bad. I think mine fell on the pretty bad side of the scale, and granted it hurt like heck, but only for a minute. As soon as the test is done the pain goes away instantly (unlike the cut I have on my thumb today from slicing it on a yogurt container, of all things. This has nagged at me all day!)

DC said...

Good luck with your HSG! It's really not that terrible; just make sure they give you a Vicoden or other pain meds beforehand (and don't let them give you the whole "just take a Tylenol" speech).

Before I had my HSG, I took 750 mg of Vicoden and I was OK during the procedure. It was still a little uncomfortable, but nothing I couldn't handle.

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http://lupuspie.blogspot.com

scarredbellybutton said...

I had mine while I was under GA for a lap/hyst - only way to go if you ask me!

I hope it goes well for you, some women don't seem to find it painful at all, hopefully you will be one of them.

~Jess said...

Here from NCLM

I'll probably be going for my HSG Sometime next week or the following: Not really looking forward to it! I'm hoping it's not as bad as some people say.

Good luck!

Heidi said...

I thought the hsg was pretty darn uncomfortable, but only for a very brief period of time. I also thought it was totally cool though, it was neat to watch!!

Good Luck! And thank goodness for bleeding again!

alicia said...

My HSG wasn't too bad. I had some cramping, but I think you will be fine!! you can do it :)

Thanks for your comment yesterday! Isn't Thursday soon! I can't believe I am getting pregnant tmr! Well if evreything goes well, which I think it will!

Jen said...

I've never had an HSG, but it will at least be a one time thing for you and maybe you'll get some answers. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

shawna said...

I rally hope that it isn't that bad for you. As far as the ads go, I have earned $15 since yesterday, so for me they are definitely worth it. You might want to check into it. Good Luck with the HSG.