Wednesday, July 30, 2008

New Look, New Hopes

In the spirit of renewing my hopes for this cycle (and the ones to follow...but hopefully there won't be any, since hopefully this is the one! :), I've brightened up my blog. I never intended to stay with the black layout, I just got lazy and forgot all about it. But I realized that it's time to step up and start doing things, no matter how small, to help me continue to stay energized and optimistic. So, what do you guys think? :)

I'm also taking steps on a new look for me. I finally joined SparkPeople, and their tracking system is awesome. It helps a lot to track my food and exercise throughout the day to see how I'm doing. There's just something about being able to see your progress - I know I won't be shedding any pounds right away, so just seeing the calories I'm burning is motivating. I've gone to the gym every day that I could in the last two weeks, and I plan to continue.

In the midst of the renewed hope and optimism that is me, I'm still battling the Clomid monster that has set up shop in my body. I don't think I ever understood before when people would talk about depression or mood swings being out of their control, but now I finally do. When the mood strikes, it strikes hard and fast - out of nowhere, I'll get very angry, or I'll feel very upset and hopeless. It's frustrating because it seems like it is out of my control - I know it's happening, but I can't do anything to stop it.

I'm hoping that doing things to keep myself upbeat and finally taking care of my body will help me to fight off the mood swings. And if it means having a chance to have a baby, I'll gladly continue fighting them off for a few more months.

22 comments:

Dreams Come True said...

I hope that the Clomid swings are well worth it and it brings you a sticky BFP!

I love the new colors of your blog, too!

Just Me. said...

I love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love lovel love love love love love the new blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've always felt that if i'm being in my dumps with whatever I'm facing, at least I can look forward to something on my blog.

Endure the wrath of Clomid. It's hard, I know. The craziness is still fresh in my mind.

I am thinking of you!!!!!!!

ps. just love your new blog! woo-hoo!

InfertileMadWoman said...

I love it sweetie!!!

Renewal of all kinds!!!

Hugs,
Rebel

Lost in Space said...

I love the new look!! (: And your attitude is following right behind in a very positive way.

Artificial hormones are just plain mean. I wish I had an answer for the mood swings, but they are what they are. I had to walk away from alot of situations just to spare me from hurting someone. Hang in there.

tragicoptimist said...

I like the new blog look. Very nice. Good luck with the clomid. It can be tough - I hope it proves to be successful and worth it.

Stephanie said...

Dear Clomid, You suck, and I hate the things you do to my mind.

Ah. Now that's off my chest...It is eventually worth it; everything seems worth it in the end, trust me. In the meantime, you can take out your more, um, *unfortunate* mood swings on the treadmill.

I love your new blog look! Here's to all sorts of new beginnings!

Your in my thoughts...blessings and hugs to you. :)

Stephanie said...

PS - Totally thinking of suing the pants off Ted's Montana Grill. Won't do it, but thoughts of retribution keep me going through the muck and mire of this horrific allergy attack...

Mandy said...

I love the new set up, where did you get it. I need a new one sooooooooo bad. I also read your previous entry-if you do injectables let me know, I have a number that you can call to see if you can get a month of free drugs!! And yes, it is totally legit, it is actually sponsored by the manufacturer of the drug. I am glad your appt. went well, and that you are in good spirits for you next cycle. I am hoping it is your last. Sending ((hugs)) your way

michelle said...

I absolutely love the look of your blog!! Good Luck on your cycle!!

Sarah said...

I truly hope the clomid does what its supposed to do. I have high hopes for you! =)

Fingers. eyes and toes are crossed.

Ciao,
Sarah

Oh, and the page is really pretty.

hopeful #1 said...

WOW!!!!!!!! I love it!

I Believe in Miracles said...

Love the new blog look. Super cute. Did you do it yourself??

I joined sparkpeople too! That's what I've been using. Its really scary to plug in the food you've eaten into that food thing. Are you using their prescribed meals or your own? That's my free alternative to joining WW...

Hey -- think I can blame my complete absentee-ness on Clomid? I've forgotten to turn the stove/oven off when cooking dinner 3 days in a row lately. I don't understand what's going on. Maybe clomid has taken over the responsible stove/oven turning off portion of my body...

CG said...

I know how bad clomid cide effects can be but love your positive attitude. I guess its all worth it at the end. Good luck with this cycle.

Kim said...

Love the new brighter blog! Hope the clomid works for you! Keep up the great attitude!

Thanks for your comments. You are right you can nurse a baby for far longer, I just weaned Justin a few days ago. He was really losing interest and it was time. I was also ready to let go. sniff, sniff

My Infertility Diaries said...

Love the new look...it is very pretty and bright :D I need to join Sparkpeople...I am going to check it out and may join too. I can't even imagine the mood swings on clomid. I took femara and my RE said the mood swings were better on it and I was a mood swingin monster. You are in my prayers and thoughts and I am sending you tons of HUGS through the airwaves :D

alicia said...

ohhh love the new layout! so fresh and bright! nice job :) sorry about the mood swings, they are a nightmare!

Echloe said...

Loving the new look.

Gibson Twins said...

Your new blog look is great! I like the idea behind it too. You can play along in the Way Back When-esday posts too if you want- its just about posting pics from the past, I so love going through old pics of me and DH, back when we were in college especially!

I hope this cycle is the one! I had to tell myself, it WILL happen, just a matter of WHEN and HOW. So glad you have your plan for this month :)

Bec said...

Am totally loving the new-look blog, it looks fab! Good on you for looking after yourself, I always feel better when I'm exercising and eating right, and just generally taking care of myself

rescogitatae said...

I hear you with the mood swings and irrational depression. Puregon (at least I think it's the drugs) is having the same effect on me.

I like the new blog colours- hope they help to cheer you up!

Kristen said...

That darn Clomid!

I love the new blog layout! It's very happy! :)

Andrea said...

The new layout is beautiful! That's great that you are doing things to stay optimistic. I need to learn a lesson from you! I've never been on Clomid, but I've heard about other people's experiences and it doesn't sound fun. But it will be well worth it when you get pregnant!