Thursday, July 17, 2008

What a Cute Little Pregnant Woman

That I am not.

But I sure do look like one.

I caught a side-ways glance of myself in the mirror just now, and I do indeed resemble a cute little pregnant woman. I'm wearing one of those maternity-type shirts that are so popular these days which do wonders to emphasize cleavage but also emphasize how much weight I've put on during this TTC journey.

I've probably gained about as much weight as I would have during a pregnancy...which can't be good. Most of it has settled in my lower belly area, and looking pregnant doesn't really help me feel any better about how not pregnant I am.

I didn't realize how much weight I had gained until recently. I decided to weigh myself at the gym, and the number was higher than I've ever seen in my life...a good 30 lbs. over my wedding weight 3 years ago.

It's rather ironic, because I'm guessing this extra weight I'm carrying around isn't helping in the TTC department, but at the same time, the weight has come as a result of all this TTC-ing. I guess I have turned to food to comfort myself for all the disappointments, and now I can't seem to break out of this cycle.

What's scary is that I know many women gain weight due to TTC drugs and their side-effects - but I gained all this weight all on my own, before even the first round of Clomid. So I have already gained all the weight I could afford to and still not be considered overweight.

I'm just having a hard time snapping out of it. Each month with each fresh new disappointment, I just give in and let myself eat however I want. I'm not binging or anything, don't get the wrong idea - I just don't have the active lifestyle I used to after becoming a SAHW (I was on my feet all day long as a teacher), and I also am over-indulging in chocolate and other comfort foods.

The good news is that the local gym is now open at 7am, so hopefully I can get myself into a more regular routine of going to workout. It used to open at 8am, which was tough, because DH would need the car by then to go to work, but this way I can take the car and still be back before he needs to leave on most days.

Have you experienced unwanted weight gain during your TTC journey? Have you been able to battle it? What's working for you? I really need some motivation and good tips.

And as for all that hope I had a couple of days ago...gone. I've been cramping since yesterday, and I rarely cramp before AF comes, so I'm preparing myself for an especially vengeful AF in the next couple of days. :(

14 comments:

Mrs. Spit said...

I'm sorry. Do remember, most women bloat a bit before their period. It might not all be chocolate weight.

I'm trying here.

Unfortunately, with the PCOS, it's an uphill battle not to pack on the pounds.

RM said...

First of all, I have gotten lots of cramping at the beginning of each 4 of my pregnancies. So don't count this cycle out! If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense you'd be crampy right around implantation, right?

And um, YES, HALLELUJAH SISTER! to the weight gain situation. My RE has not let me exercise at all in the last few months. Like *no* elevated heart rate at all. So, pair that with an already curvy figure, and you've got a girl 4w3d pregnant who looks more like 4m3w. Yeesh.

Not sure if Weig.ht Wat.chers interests you at all, but I enjoyed my one week of it this month, before I had to quit. Good luck! But don't go too crazy- my RE says dieting can screw up ovulation worse than a few extra lbs. (hugs!)

Mandy said...

I understand the sweet cravings. I have never had a sweet tooth until I started If Drugs. I can't stay away from peanut M and M's and chocolate chip cookies. I have this theory that I have to suffer with shots and u/s, so the least I can do is have sweet here and there-and yes I have gained a few lbs too!

I also wouldn't say this cycle is over until AF actually visits. I was really crampy when I found out I was pregnant last month. So cramps aren't always a bad thing. I still have my fingers and toes crossed for you!!!! I am still wishing and praying you have a good outcome!

InfertileMadWoman said...

Weight gain, what weight gain?? Hell I was a size 6 when I started IVF, and I am now in a nice fat and happy 12...

You will lose it sweetie. In fact a lot of women actually lose weight in the first trimester, so don't sweat it to much...

I love those shirts to, and while they do enhance the girls, they don't do much for slimming the belly do they??

Hang in there, tomorrow is coming!!!

Rebel

Just Me. said...

I'm guilty as charged!!! I just bought 5 donuts!! WTF?!!?!?

Saw your comment on my blog. LOL to OW!! I've gone from F.O.W to OW now cuz she's due to arrive any moment!!!! :(

kirke said...

I hear you. Twenty pounds since my wedding, and I haven't even started the drugs or acutal treatment. What can I say? Ice cream makes me feel better.

Kristen said...

I love how comfortable the flow-y shirts are, but I have to avoid them because I am horrified someone will ask me how far along I am! Hehehe. I have gained some weight on the TTC journey, and am now in the process of losing. The diet I am following is from a book "The Natural Diet Solution to PCOS and Infertility" It might be helpful :)

JamieD said...

I feel you! Along with the comfort eating, I am afraid to diet because I don't want to cut too many calories and interfere with ovulation. Then I am afraid to exercise too much because I don't want to shake any potentially fertilized egg loose. My RE told me not to stress out over my weight because the added stress will make matters worse but it is incredibly hard to feel attractive and initiate sex with all the extra fat and skin flapping around. I'm telling ya - you are singing my song.

I do like those maternity shirts because they are so comfortable. I just hope they draw the eye to my new, impressive cleavage and not to my not-pregnant-but-looks-pregnant midsection.

Deb said...

OK on this one I can comment!!

I may even be able to make you feel better. In the last, oh say, 8 months, I have gained about 25 pounds...I have no "womb with a view", cant possibly be pregnant - I just like to eat.
At least if you ARE pregnant, you can have an excuse....me..not so much - just PHAT! But ya wanna know a secret....?...I still love me just fine. so does the hubby :-)

Deb said...

oh and one more thing.....i lurve those dang shirts. hello...not pregnant...not a chance...

Jill said...

Where you are? I'm there. I'm 35 lbs over my wedding weight, and it's mostly because of my PCOS...... actually, I can pretty much know when I'm not going to ovulate, because my face breaks out like a pizza and I gain AT LEAST 5 lbs.... and it's almost impossible to lose. I'm sorry you feel yucky about yourself right now, but you're not alone!

alicia said...

I think lots of people gain weight during ttc. I know I have. Not a lot, but enough that I don't like it! I hate exercising, I can't got ot gyms, I get so bored. So thats why I do things like pole danicng, my wii fit, things like that! I hope the gym works out for you!

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